Daily Affirmation

The best things in life are free.
The second best are very expensive.
- Coco Chanel

Monday, November 9, 2009

Puerto Rican Angst

She's in the bubble, she's out of the bubble... I can't keep up from so many thousands of miles away. I got a call from Katie this morning saying Hayden was doing well, she was out of the oxygen bubble, and she was going to be able to hold her.. Hallelujah - all is well. I could hear the happiness in her voice as she thought about cuddling her sweet baby at last. 30 minutes later, I picked up the phone as I was heading out the door, and all I could hear were tears. Hayden was back in the bubble, and so no holding. We spoke for a few minutes, while I clumsily tried to calm Katie down. An aide came with her lunch so she hung up.
Once at work I spoke with one of the girls I work with who had once worked in a NICU. She told me that pneumonia can happen when babies aspirate the amniotic fluid during delivery, and that antibiotics will do the trick within a week. We just need to be patient. In the meantime, Katie was able to go to the nursery and change Hayden's diaper and spend some more time with her. She was more calm and focused.
I'm not good in these situations. I fluctuate between confidence and almost impatience with the stress others are feeling, and then I get this terrible fear that just because nothing horrible has ever happened to me or around me, doesn't mean that nothing ever will. I get frightened that because I'm not treating the situation with proper fear that THIS will be the time Horrible happens. And I start to wig out a little bit.
Luckily, I work with several good Voices of Reason, and have a few more as friends. They help me to attack the situation rationally. It's hard when your little girl (who has two little girls of her own) is so far away and there's not much I can do to help. All I could do today was sit there and listen and be late for work. Luckily I have an understanding boss, who was concerned and in my corner on this one.
So here, for your enjoyment, is a picture of Hayden. It's not much, and she's a little the worse for wear here in her space helmet- but isn't she just beautiful? I can't wait to get my hands on her and smooch those little cheeks. We'll post more later, after she's gussied up a bit.



7 comments:

  1. That happened with my grandson too. He did well and then slid back a little...back and forth for the first couple of days and then smooth sailing from there.

    Not fun, though. I was hatin' it. Even though I, like you, was never all that worried, it was still unsettling. And I just wanted to get him home and be done with the NICU.

    Hope she gets out of that bubble for good tomorrow!

    =)

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  2. Thanks Sue - it really helps to have a viewpoint from someone who's been there!

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  4. Thinking of you and your sweet family with love. You're all in my prayers.

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  5. poor little baby! I'm sure she'll be fine. The dr.s do so well. Just keep trying not to worry. Poor Katie. She must want to hold her so badly!

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  6. prayers all around! love you all!

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  7. YOu need to update with the cute pictures I just took ;-)

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