Daily Affirmation

The best things in life are free.
The second best are very expensive.
- Coco Chanel

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A New and Improved Me (for now, anyway...)

I feel like I've been out of the loop for weeks.  As you may remember from my last post, I came down with the flu last Tuesday night.  Miserable stuff.  The sorest throat I've had in years.  We finally did break down and call Dr. Rick, who very kindly called in a prescription for me on Friday morning.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get to it until Friday evening, but better late than never.  Thank you, Dr. Rick.  I love you.
I ended up going to work on Friday, feeling I couldn't milk it anymore at home (having gone to Work Ethic School of Dad) so off I trudged on Friday morning in the fog and mist, tired beyond belief.  By noon I felt a little bit better though so I was encouraged.  The work day finished successfully enough, but there was still the Primary Program rehearsal to get through.
I don't know when I've been more miserable.  If you know me at all, you know how much I hate extra meetings of any kind.  And this one was particularly heinous, coming after work when I felt more exhausted than usual, due to not being completely well.  I've been involved in more of these programs than I'd care to admit - usually as the pianist - and the rehearsals are always awful.  The kids mess around, they don't cooperate, they don't sing.  I couldn't play this one particular song (He Sent His Son) to save my life.  There's a part right in the middle where nobody is singing and the piano builds and has this little solo riff - and I bungled it badly every single time.  In my defense, I don't have a piano to practice on.  I mean, I OWN a piano, but it has about 6 or 7 broken strings and is in need of major repair.  It's a baby grand though, and so I hold onto it, thinking we'll get it fixed one of these days.  It actually held up well for many years, but during my single mom years there was no money to maintain it properly and it had one move too many, and it sunk into disrepair.  So I'm a Primary pianist who wings it every week.  My practice comes at church every Sunday during Primary, and luckily I'm a good sight reader.  But after this last practice I came home in a foul mood.  I hated Primary and was irritated by everyone in it.  I complained nonstop, I think.  (Did I mention I have a saint for a husband?)  I also practiced that passage from hell until I had it memorized.
On Saturday morning I woke up not feeling well again.  My throat was better but I had a massive headache.  (Can antibiotics cause headaches??)  I cancelled by pedicure appointment, but was determined to make the hair appointment.  Fortunately I was feeling human by then and I went.  My husband drove me as he was concerned about me still not feeling well.  I forgot my wallet, and when it came time to pay I had to call L (who was then on his way) to see if he had some money or a credit card with him.  Now I know you are all going to stop being my friend and hop on over to his side.  And you'd be quite right to do so.  Because not only did he pick me up, he also paid.  Without complaint.  Even paid for the Aveda shampoo and conditioner I picked up.  *sigh*  He is a saint, and I really don't deserve such riches.
As the afternoon wore on, I noticed that my right shoulder and arm were hurting a little bit.  Huh.  Must have slept on them wrong.  By about 7:00 it was abundantly clear that I was having a flareup.  In my right shoulder.  I couldn't move it or do anything without the most excruciating pain.  I am not good with uncontrollable pain.  I get a little panicky.  And I was supposed to play the piano in the morning.  My husband assessed the situation and calmly said that I would maybe want a blessing.  Yes, please.
He changed into his white shirt and tie  (Oh how I love this man!  He never cuts corners...) and gave me the blessing.  I was in so much pain, but I almost had to laugh at part of it.  HF actually yelled at me a little bit.  In the nicest way, of course, but I was definitely being corrected.  I was told that I would be relieved of the pain and that I would rest well that night.  But then I was told that I needed to get back to working on getting closer to my HF and my Savior, and that I should refocus and work harder in the coming week to that effect.  OK... so no more complaining and moaning about Primary, I assume?  Straighten out the attitude and stop criticizing?  It reminded me of places in the D&C where Christ is rebuking Oliver Cowdery and others because they would get off track and muck around.  And truthfully, I HAD been mucking around, and hadn't been positive or helpful or productive.  Mostly just sulky and entitled.
Within a few minutes the pain was relieved (and if you've even had a flareup you know what a miracle that is - and how welcome!) I knew for a certainty that I have a Heavenly Father who wanted to comfort His child in pain - as well as correct her course just a bit.  I did sleep well that night, and Sunday dawned on a new and improved me.  The program was beautiful.  I played that passage without any error.  The kids were awesome, and did the greatest job.  All of the ones who'd made me crazy on Friday night were like little angels today.  Were they really that much better, or was I looking at them in a new way?  Probably a bit of both.  I made an effort to interact with them more today, and found myself enjoying it more.  I'm still tired of mainly being asked to play piano, but maybe what I need to do is do it CHEERFULLY.  That would be new.  That would be growth.  And that is my little testimony for today.

ps: I also learned the cutest little hair styling thing on Saturday that involves a few bobby pins and a cute scarf.  Great for those days when nothing else works, and it's so cute you'll want to do it every day.  You can do it with long or short hair - my stylist has short hair, and mine is long.  I will share next time.  L thinks it is very cute and sassy.

7 comments:

  1. I'm glad your flare up got better. Glad your primary program went well too!

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  2. Glad your flare up went away.. I wish I could play the piano for my calling. The callings I get are to teach, and I HATE speaking in front of people. Dont you love getting a blessing and feeling like you've been given some instructions or directions? I know I do.

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  3. Sorry you had a rough week - and I totally have been there when you feel tired and you are not feeling a 100% and all you want to do is go home and rest but you have....Primary! Ha Ha
    I am glad you got a blessing from your sweet husband.
    And I truly believe that Heavenly Father is right there blessing all of these programs because, you are right, in the practices the kids are goofing off and not singing but the programs come off on Sunday without a hitch and totally bring the spirit!
    Glad you were also able to conquer that difficult section in the song - You Rock!!
    Hope you have a great Monday and a great week this week! {{{hugs}}}

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  4. {{{{{{{{{{Karen}}}}}}}}}}

    What a great post. You have motivated me to follow your example: loving more and murmuring less.

    I may even manage to convince myself that I like cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

    (Well maybe not...After all, there are limits to what an imperfect creature can accomplish in a month.)

    ;)

    PS. Glad you are feeling better, too. Flares are no fun!

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  5. I loved this post, and your honesty- I too have been a little sassy teenager-ish and earned myself a chastising. It's quite the humbling experience.

    That's strange to have a primary program practice on a Friday- I'm glad it went well in the end though.

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  6. We all need a good rebuking to get us back on the path! That must mean you're truly loved!
    I'm not only glad the flare-up went away but that the piano piece from hell, went well! I think the reason those kids did so well and weren't so annoying is because you had your hair done! I mean, really, that in itself, makes the world look better!
    Can't wait to see the sassy hair style. When you say short, do you mean short or just kinda short? Ooh, I can't wait!

    Glad you're feeling better. Take care! And yes, you do have a Saint for a husband! Isn't it nice?

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  7. I'm all about sassy hairstyles this week. No time. Even to shower. UGH!

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