We kind of half heartedly (I was half hearted anyway) dusted and vacuumed the Christmas dust off the previously festooned rooms and replaced the original decor - sea shells on the mantle, etc. It looks bare and spartan after the glittery fullness of glory that had previously occupied the space, but it has a fresh, clean feel to it after all the abundance of the holidays.
I wandered into my "office" to try to clean up in there and just got lost in the chaos that is mine. Discouraged, I left that room and lay down on my bed feeling achey and cranky (I try to blame arthritis for my irritability when I'm in a funk). L came in and I expressed my frustration at the lack of organization and design in my room. I was feeling resentful that his office is beautiful and his bathroom is elegant and new, and both of my spaces are... well, they're not elegant or beautifully appointed. Not even sort of. I could tell he felt bad and so we talked a little about what was needed and we looked through a couple of catalogs. And then we napped for an hour or so. Me still not dressed nor motivated to do so. *some Saturdays are like that*
We woke up, felt a little refreshed and scurried to wash, dress, and make ourselves presentable. I didn't think South Coast Plaza would appreciate red candy cane pajamas and black Halloween socks. Our first stop was Macy's Home Store. They were having a sale. And there it was: the Tea Trade armoire with more space than I'd ever thought possible in one piece of furniture, so perfectly designed for what I needed, and *trumpets blaring* just the right size for the space. Have a look:
The bottom drawer is big enough for wrapping paper or anything large like that. L bought it for me as an early anniversary gift. It won't be delivered for a couple of weeks, but I'll be busy until then figuring out where everything will go.
So I'm ashamed of feeling resentful. I'm embarrassed that I was sulky and discouraged. I rarely get like that when I know what to do - it's when I feel helpless as to how to fix a mess - or in this case, how to dress it up and put lipstick on it. Because I have the best husband ever I didn't have to put lipstick on a pig - because it'll no longer be a pig. I just need to stop acting like one myself. (Doesn't take long for those good intentions to go by the wayside, does it?)
That's the thing about resolutions - I concentrate on one area, and kind of forget about all of the other things that need to be maintained. It's great to try to improve in one area, but if, in the process, you let other ones go, it's not such a success. So there's the trick - trying to keep it all in mind all of the time. So maybe my resolution should just be to "Do Good." That covers it all. Do good to myself by watching what I eat and by praying and reading the scriptures. By not letting myself come into contact with TV or movies that lessen my desire to do good. By not taking things so personally. Do good to others by not judging, by giving everyone a benefit of the doubt. By giving more generously of my limited time. By taking every opportunity to be a presence in my beloved grandchildren's lives. By not complaining.
Will I do these things all the time without fail? Probably not. I have to expect that I'll be human. But my hope is that I'll not be TOO human. I'd like a little bit of honor and glory sprinkled in from time to time - more often than not.
The week ahead is looming. Five more days of trying to cram work and exercise and enough sleep in, while still leaving time to read, ponder, and blog (very important) - and organize my office stuff so the new armoire will have a place to rest. It's a tall order, but I'm up to it. I'm stoked. And this coming Saturday is our wedding anniversary - 11 years! The armoire was an early gift, but we're also going to spend the weekend up in Pasadena (long weekend because of Martin Luther King Day - thank you MLK!) exploring the lovely old town area of that beautiful city.
I hope all of you have a wonderful week. Or if not wonderful, at least productive. I can handle a terrible week if I know I've accomplished some things, expelled some demons, dusted some furniture. As for me, in addition to everything else, I'm going to glory in the memories of the last 11 years and be grateful for the wonderful man I'm married to, as well as be amazed and astounded that he is also grateful for me. Make sure he has a great anniversary weekend *wink* and look forward to the eternity of times together that lie ahead.