Daily Affirmation

The best things in life are free.
The second best are very expensive.
- Coco Chanel

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Time Out For Women

I'm going to be spending a Friday and Saturday with some friends at a women's conference in Long Beach.  Time Out For Women.  The ladies I'm going with all went last year (to Fresno!) and loved it so much they decided to go every year, and this year I got an invite.  As with all things that disrupt my safe little routine, I was very excited to be invited and to attend, but now that it's tomorrow, I'm having my usual neurotic doubts and misgivings.  What if my ankle acts up, what if I'm achey all weekend?  What if I just want to come home?  What will they think when they find out how much I really hobble around at the end of the day?  What if I'm no fun?  You see how my mind runs.
Add to the angst that I've lost 5 pounds, and I have a weekend of eating out ahead of me.  I feel pretty confident at this point that I can be sensible, but I worry that I'll lose my mind and go rogue with a hot fudge sundae.  Or lemon merengue pie.  Mmmmmmm....  wait, where was I?  Oh - so you see that if dessert's on the agenda I'll have to excuse myself, go up to my room, and take a shower or something.
It's when events like this come up that I realize that I never go anywhere anymore.  I still have my corporate wardrobe - the things I'd wear to work everyday.  But my weekend clothes have gotten shabby or (more likely) too tight.  I tend to wear the same couple of things to everything, especially as the weather has moved from winter to spring.  I just don't clean up that well lately.  I've fallen in love with my yoga pants (so comfy, so soft, so forgiving!) and I feel like a cranky baby when I have to gird my loins with jeans or some other similarly tight pants.  It's a real dilemma.
Today I went out shopping.  A quick trip.  I wasn't in the mood for a full on mall trip, so I just made a quick run to Birch Street Promenade.  It's one quick block of movie theaters, shops and restaurants, and I can usually find something I like at Ann Taylor Loft.  Not today though.  I came back with one pair of cropped khakis.  I was happy about that, but they had colored jeans in such gorgeous shades: cobalt blue, bright orange, fuschia pink, bright chartreuse.  I wanted a pair desperately, but my caboose is just not in fighting form yet.  5 pounds is not enough of a loss.  I made myself put them aside until I can be down at least 1 size, and they don't fit me like a second skin.  Color like that is hard for me to resist because I just love looking at the color.  Yummy, yummy color.  I have a hard time telling myself that on my behind it's just a little too much color right now.  *sigh*
So I contented myself with the boring yet reliable khakis.  It'll be fine - I only need 2 days worth of clothes, and I always tend to over pack (another phobia of mine - I hate being caught without something I might need!)
I won't go on and bore you with the minutiae of The Diet (just because it consumes my life doesn't mean it should be a main event in yours) but I really am doing well.  I've lost (mostly) my craving for sweets and snacks.  Today was a little hard because I've had a headache  ALL DAY - and that always makes me want to eat because maybe I'll feel better.  But I didn't let myself get fooled by that today and stuck to my lean protein, my soy smoothie (blackberry chocolate - a winner!) and a cup of thawed frozen edamame beans with salt and pepper for a snack.  Lots of water.  For dinner?  L is going to have to take me somewhere because we're out of food - well, there is nothing to cook for dinner except canned chili - PTOOIE!  I should have gone to the store, but my head was aching...  yes,yes, I know I managed to go pants shopping, but that's different.  And for the record, I didn't feel well the entire time, so it wasn't all fun and games.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I'll be busy having fun with the ladies and secretly wishing I were home.  (I know - I'm hopeless, but does no one else miss their own bed and their husband?  Maybe I'm more weird than I think...)  And then when I do get home, I'll remember it all as the best time ever.  Next week, when I catch up with you all again, just see if I'm not right about that.  For me, ladies night out is so much fun just before, and right after we actually are in the midst of it.  But during it, a large group of women just makes me tongue-tied and lonely.  Chalk it up to a loose screw; something haywire; a character flaw.  But this is a new, untried group of friends, and I am getting older (and hopefully better) so hope springs eternal, and I go off with optimism.  Sort of.


14 comments:

  1. That is a beautiful picture of you! Congrats on your weight loss. You will do great. I, too, am going to a women's conference this weekend with a group of friends and I've already well overpacked. Ah well.

    Have a wonderful time!

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  2. Hi, lil k! There's not a single thing wrong with missing your home, your own bed and your husband. It's a sign of stability on the home front, something that many others lack in their lives. That said, I urge you to go to the conference with an open mind without creating pictures and scenarios ahead of time. It's hard not to play it all out in advance. I do that, too. With practice, however, you can learn to enter into things with zero expectations, go with the flow, live spontaneously in the moment, and frame every experience as time well spent and an opportunity to grow. Have a great time, dear friend. Stay safe and come back and blog all about it.

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  3. I'm in agreement with Tom and Shelly...you look adorable in your picture and don't sweat the small stuff. My sister always says to imagine everyone without their clothes on. Doesn't help me but it does give me a chuckle when I enter a room.
    Hope you have fun and I think most of us these days are pretty achy come evening.
    Hugs~

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  4. You are so darn cute, hard to imagine that you have some insecurities...I could have totally written this blog post, except the part about doing well on my diet...It will be fun to hear about your weekend.

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  5. Time out for Women? I thought that only a Utah thing! Yay for you to go! Set aside the doubts, put your big girl panties on and go have some FUN!

    And then of course, come back, post a buttload of pics and make the rest of us jealous

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  6. I love the Loft too, and am always happy when I find something good there. Your insecurities are so much like mine. Have a great time.

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  7. Enjoy the conference. I'm with you though, I've become a bit of a hermit when I'm on my time. I'm gone from home 5 days a week and weekends are really such a busy catch-up that I hate to think about leaving for any length of time. But I always feel good when I do take some time out and get my spiritual cup filled. You are so sweet and cute that I know you'll enjoy your new group. I'm looking forward to hearing about it!

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  8. You are so funny and I envy your life in so many ways. It sounds pretty exciting sitting here..lol!!! The pic is adorable and I say....Have a wonderful time!!!

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  9. I just know that you will have a wonderful time. It will be fun to read about your weekend when you get back. I too love your picture. Love love love those big blue eyes.

    I know what you mean about your own bed though and also miss being with LaMar. I always miss Dick when I go anywhere without him.

    I'm pretty sure you won't blow your diet....you have done so well, but if you do a wee bit, just get right back on it when you get home.

    I also know what you mean about hurting at the end of the day. I feel for you, because you are too young to experience that. Hopefully that too will change over time. Try to ignore all the negatives and just enjoy yourself.

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  10. I'm sure you are having a wonderful time. Everyone needs a fun girl weekend. I do hope you went "rogue with a hot fudge sundae" Lol (Love that line)

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  11. I've been to Time Out for Women and loved it! I hope you're having a wonderful time! Don't worry about the 5 pounds, just enjoy yourself. Love the picture of your cute self!

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  12. Good for you that you went, and I'm sure you (and they) are glad. I cracked up that you sort of hate to leave home. I'm a little that way myself...more so the older I get! I do LOVE my own bed. And the hubby. But being with the girls is good for the soul.

    And women's conference is always a treat.

    =)

    PS. I think this pic of you is cute and funny.

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  13. Karen I loved this. I related to everything you said. I often have to push myself to go out, usually I'm happy I did... but also LOVE to get back home. I love all I learn through others and having people to share life with, but find peace in being in my own space. Your words made me laugh, probably because I related so much!

    You have great hair! Very pretty!

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