Dear friends, I've been absent. I've been preoccupied. I've had a lot on my plate lately, and most of it isn't really blog worthy. It's been life at it's busiest, and most hectic, and has included lots of frustrations and low points. Nothing that each one of you hasn't experienced over and over again yourselves. It's just hard to write when your mind is so preoccupied.
I saw my rheumatologist a couple of weeks ago. I haven't been feeling all that well, and I thought that maybe a change in medications was due. There was one seemingly ineffective med I was taking about 3 years ago. I'd taken it for a couple of years and it didn't seem to do anything, and since it was a mild form of a chemotherapy drug I (being the amateur MD) decided to stop taking it. No ill effects. Not a one. I was fairly symptom free for a long time. And then I wasn't, and it's been harder and harder to manage lately. At the time I stopped taking it, my doc didn't bat an eye - he just let me go off doing what I wanted to, but on this visit he suggested that maybe I should try taking it again, and that it would help the other medications to work better. *sigh* It's kind of a cumulative thing, so it's probably going to take awhile, and I've gone from swelling in my knee to such a sore neck it's hard to turn my head sometimes. And my hands and wrists ache in the morning. But it's incentive to fire up the laptop and start typing, as it really loosens them up! That'll teach me to self diagnose...
My nephew got married this past weekend and my youngest brother and his family came from Utah for the occasion. There was a pre-wedding dinner on Friday night, the wedding on Saturday, a reception Saturday night (which we didn't end up going to) and then another family gathering on Sunday. It was all great, but it involved lots of dressing up and worrying what to wear, and wearing makeup every day. It wore me out, I tell you. But my nephew and his beautiful bride were lovely and happy and glowing. They were married in the LDS temple in Newport Beach, and after the ceremony it was a lazy walk across the large parking lot to the regular church next door where the In 'n Out truck came and served hamburgers and sodas to the hungry wedding group. If you've never had In 'n Out hamburgers, you haven't lived, and it was just the thing on a hot September afternoon. It was nice to sit with family and relax after the rush rush of the wedding. The bride and groom drove away on a Vespa. So cute.
My dad was having a tough time. He's had 3 chemo sessions so far, and it's starting to have effects. His lovely white hair is thinning, and the little that is still growing is growing in a little bit curly. He looks tired, and his energy is lower. My brother had to rush him to the doctor once on Friday with a minor emergency. But he was a trooper and attended the Friday night party and the wedding. When we came out of the temple after the ceremony and had to stand for a few pictures I thought I would die. The temperature was in the 90s - full sun - and we were all very damp and shiny. I think that's what did my dad in. He trooped across the way and had his hamburger and soda but didn't feel well after that and needed to go home and rest. And drink about a gallon of water. Both he and mom were a little worn out from the activity and the heat.
L and I headed home as well, only to discover that while we'd been down in Newport Beach celebrating out air conditioning had gone out. Not good. I called my cousin, who is our A/C guru, and he said he'd come over and check it out, which he did. After about 3 hours. But hey - it was a Saturday, and he works cheap, and I am NOT complaining.
He diagnosed the problem and said he would pick up the parts and bring them back on Monday evening. That meant getting through a hot Sunday and even hotter Monday. Yes, folks, Monday reached a high of 101 degrees, and there I sat in my hot little house working away. All day. No point in trying to fix my hair or put on makeup - it would have just slid right off my face.
L came home from work and wanted to heat up some leftover pizza in the oven and I almost started crying. Jeff (my cousin) finally came (after a very long work day himself) at around 8:00. I plied him with many Diet Cokes and within a few minutes our A/C sprang to life and cool air was circulating. Heaven.
So that's it. For some reason it doesn't sound so bad when it's written out, but lately I've just felt overwhelmed. I'm worried about Dad. I'm trying to reassure Mom, who is worried and scared. I have an aunt who is having a tough time, and I've been working with her. It's been frustrating as she doesn't want to admit she needs help, and is usually very cantankerous and stubborn. I've made mental notes to myself to remember to be gracious when I'm old. I have my own health issues that have flared up. And I miss the kids. Badly. I broached the subject of a visit tonight to L. He didn't say much, but I know he's mulling it over. It's just very expensive to fly around the holidays, so there's no getting around that. I'd like to visit Texas with L for Thanksgiving, and then fly to Boston by myself after the first of the year and see Katie and the girls. If I go on my own we can do all of the fun girl things we love to do, and I won't have to worry that L is bored. I think that getting back into routine, having the weather cool down (which it will by the end of the week) and maybe the possibility of visiting the kids will do wonders for me. I just need to chill. And then I need to see these two :
followed by some future plans with this sweet one and her crazy little naked sister (Hayden is fond of "air baths")
And then we'll start all over next year planning trips to Denver, New York, and Utah. It never ends...